bewrightback | IC Inbox [Cerealia]

...Um, that's pretty much! [He waves meekly.]

Hey, Edgeworth! What's up? [Phoenix is wearing his casual hobo clothes today, but without the beanie.]

[Edgeworth glances over his shoulder at the fallen door before looking his friend over from head to toe.]

How are your self-defense skills, Wright? Has Miss Cykes taught you anything?

They're... they're pretty defensive, I'd say! And Athena's... taught me a thing or two alright! [Mostly about how quickly my face can meet the floor...

Of course, Phoenix doesn't sound even close to confident in any of these sentences.]

[And Edgeworth, being used to zeroing in on the defense's weaknesses, is quick to notice that "a thing or two" probably isn't enough for Phoenix to put up a real fight if the need arose.]

You don't say.

[He strokes his chin, saying those three words steadily - almost ominously.]

Why don't you give me a demonstration?

A... a demonstration?! What, do you want me to fight you?!

You heard me.

[He's not moving from where he is. Not to mention he looks dead serious about this.

If it's any comfort, Edgeworth is unarmed. He doesn't have a sword or any other weapon on him.]

I... I guess I did! [He pauses.]

Like, right now? You don't need to do any... warm-up exercises or anything? Or, um, maybe some breakfast! I can whip up some mean eggs...!

Yes. Right now.

[Edgeworth glares at him. Don't prolong your suffering ERRR I MEAN -

He may as well have said, "Yes, Wright, now."]

[Wright now...]

Um... Alright! Then! If you insist. Brace yourself, Edgeworth...!

[He takes a deep breath, and... tries to weakly shove at Edgeworth's perfect chest.]

T-take that!

...

[...this is too pitiful. Edgeworth just shifts his stance into a more solid one so he can easily remain where he is without being pushed an inch away from his spot in Phoenix's apartment.

He sighs, shaking his head. Not even his cravat was ruffled by that attempt.]

Is that all?

[PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE, PHOENIX

PUNCH HIM AFTER THOSE UPDATED AUTOPSY REPORTS!!!]

[...]

No! No, I haven't even gotten started yet. But, um... I can't just hit you really hard. Not without... motivation?

[Edgeworth opens his mouth to tell Phoenix that they live in a dangerous world, Phoenix can't rely on sheer luck and other people to do his fighting for him...

Oh, he needs motivation to hit hard? Edgeworth slowly smirks and meets Phoenix's eye.]

Your Honor. [His voice is steady and very straight.] The autopsy report the defense cited is outdated, I'm afraid. The prosecution respectfully moves to submit the updated autopsy report into evidence.

What?! [Phoenix balls up his first in shock, as many flashbacks ring through his head.] I'll.... I'll update the autopsy report...

[Phoenix then steps forward and tries to punch Edgeworth right in the face!]

...of your face!!

[Ah, now this is more like it. Perhaps back home Edgeworth would be terrible at dodging this and would receive a faceful of Phoenix's fist.

But this isn't home, and he's not quite the same Edgeworth he used to be when all his battles were fought in court or on the crime scene.

Bracing his feet against the floor, he raises a hand to block the incoming punch. The effort and the impact make him grunt, but his smirk remains. And not just because he got to poke a little fun at Phoenix.]

Better, but I think you'd do well to practice and train.

[Phoenix doesn't even notice the block at first and just shouts, emotionally charged.]

What's so difficult about autopsy reports?! How can things end up being so critically difficult anyway?! Wait until you're sure about one to release to begin wi- th?

[He pauses and blinks as he finally takes in Edgeworth's action and words.]

Huh? Practice and train.... punching you in the face?

[Edgeworth lets go of Phoenix's fist.]

Defending yourself, to be more precise.

[He pauses.]

...Although I suppose that involves you trying to punch me in the face again.

[If that's what it took to provoke Phoenix, then Edgeworth could use this card again in the future. While he regrets being that shady back in the day...he probably doesn't regret riling up Phoenix.]

[He pauses as he withdraws his fist with a thoughtful frown.]

...Fine, Edgeworth. I guess that you're right. I really could stand to learn how to better take care of myself.

Good. [Edgeworth nods sagely.] We don't know what will happen next...or who or what will attack us next.

[His tone is ominous.]

I trust I'll see you in the gym tomorrow?

[I'm not sure if this will help me that much against CERES, really... I doubt I'll have to put Recreare in a chokehold or anything.]

I think I see what you mean. Um... Yeah, I'm sure I can stop at the gym after work!

[Hmm. He's usually there in the morning but he's certain he can rearrange his schedule a bit.]

You'll need to learn more than just "a thing or two". But I'm certain there are people more than willing to help you, besides Miss Cykes.

[Just rearrange Phoenix's schedule.]

Yeah... I guess there are a lot of strong people around here who might be willing to lend a hand.

[WHAT A GOOD IDEA.]

There are, yes.

...I'm not as strong as they are, but I'll lend you a hand nonetheless.

Edited 2016-09-04 05:56 (UTC)

You do seem to have gotten pretty ridiculously strong...! If it's no trouble, I'd appreciate it, Edgeworth!

[Edgeworth just stares at Phoenix, raising an eyebrow, before huffing indignantly.]

Hmph. Better to be ridiculously strong, as you put it, than sorry. You already know what kind of world I was sent to before this one.

In that world, death works as it always should. And I've come close to it far more times than I care to count.

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